


This Little Light of Mine

by nayafanatic



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Cancer Trigger, F/F, I Made Myself Cry, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, This is sad guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-10 23:12:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15959573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nayafanatic/pseuds/nayafanatic
Summary: Toni cradled Cheryl and ran her fingers through her hair. “It’s ok baby, just breath, just breath.”  She shushed as she ran her hand down Cheryl’s back, trying to withhold her own tears. She began to think back to a couple of months ago when Cheryl was as healthy as she’s ever been. It seemed liked it all happened so fast, they thought it was a simple nose bleed. Soon after the first nose bleed another one came, and then another. Than Cheryl began to feel faint more than often, and then came the actual fainting.Then came the stage four brain cancer.Something no one was expecting. Not Toni, not Cheryl, not Veronica or cousin Betty. No one expected this.





	This Little Light of Mine

“Cher! Cher is everything alright?” Toni yelled hurriedly after she rushed to the bathroom. She heard something crash and then a big thump. She felt her heart leap into her throat when she opened the door and saw Cheryl sitting on the floor with tears streaming down her face. It always hurt Toni to see her wife like this. 

“Oh Cher.” Toni said as kneeled down next to Cheryl making sure not to touch any of the broken glass on the floor. Toni cuffed Cheryl’s face and wiped away the oncoming tears with the pads of her thumbs. “I-I was just t-trying to get some w-wate” Cheryl said she began to sob. “I just w-wanted some water.” She choked out as she squeezed her eyes shut. She leaned into Toni’s chest and gripped her shirt with all the strength she could muster up. 

Toni cradled Cheryl and ran her fingers through her hair. “It’s ok baby, just breath, just breath.” She shushed as she ran her hand down Cheryl’s back, trying to withhold her own tears. She began to think back to a couple of months ago when Cheryl was as healthy as she’s ever been. It seemed liked it all happened so fast, they thought it was a simple nose bleed. Soon after the first nose bleed another one came, and then another. Than Cheryl began to feel faint more than often, and then came the actual fainting. 

Then came the stage four brain cancer. 

Something no one was expecting. Not Toni, not Cheryl, not Veronica or cousin Betty. No one expected this. 

Toni waited till Cheryl calmed down and drifted off to sleep. Even though Toni was small, in the past few months she’s gain the strength to carry her beloved wife. She picked her up and carried her to bed. She gently laid her down and kissed her forehead as she slept. 

She couldn’t do anything more but look at her wife. Even with stage four brain cancer, they had a bit of luck. The chemotherapy being used on Cheryl was one that wouldn’t cause hair loss. Sometimes, on the good days, they forgot that Cheryl even had cancer. 

Even with Cheryl's skin getting Paler and all of the weight she was loosing, Even with all of the cat scans and the MRI's, with all of the doctor visits and Chemo session, Cheryl was still the most beautiful thing that Toni had ever laid eyes on, down to her chapped lips.

Toni slowly crawled into bed and gently wrapped her arms around her wife, making sure not to wake her. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep but was kept awake by the thoughts running through her head. She knew Cheryl was getting worse, and she knew she had to stay strong, but what she didn’t know was if she could do it for much longer. 

“Your immune system is rejecting the chemotherapy, Mrs.Topaz” The doctor said as he looked at Cheryl with a face of disappointment. Hearing the doctor call Cheryl “Mrs.Topaz” takes her thoughts back to when Cheryl proposed to Toni. How did five years fly so fast?

_” Its beautiful out here Cher.” A 19-year-old Toni said smiling as she out into the distance. They were sitting in Cheryl vintage red Chevrolet convertible because she insisted on driving them out to this mystery location. “No wonder you were so adamant about going out tonight.” Toni said turning her head, so she could face Cheryl. “It’s not as beautiful as you are TT. Not as beautiful as you.” Cheryl whispered softly as she leaned closer to Toni and gave her a soft kiss on the lips._

_Toni noticed Cheryl’s nervous demeanor and she had been acting odd all week. She was about to as Cheryl what was the reason for her acting so strange but was distracted when Cheryl got out of the Car and walked around to Toni’s side and opened the door. “Cher, what are you-?”_

_”Shush TT.” Cheryl cut her off and got down on both of her knee’s, so she could look up at the confusion on her serpent girlfriends face. She bit down nervously on the corner of her bottom and let out a deep sigh._

_”TT, you are, you are the light that shines from the sun. You are the light that shines in me. When we found out Jason was dead I could literally feel my heart break into a million pieces, my world came crumbling down around me. I was at one of the worst points in my life, I didn’t want my life.”_

_”Cher, wh-“_

_”TT, please. Shush.” Cheryl chuckled so softly watching Toni smile softly, releasing some of the nerves that she previously had._

_”But then I met you Toni, and suddenly, suddenly it felt like I could breathe again, I could breathe again, I wasn’t, I wasn’t drowning anymore.” Cheryl said as she dug into the pocket of her red leather serpents jacket. “Toni you have literally filled me with light, you are my sun, and I don’t think I could ever live without the sun Toni, so promise you’ll stay with my forever. Promise that you’ll shine with me for the rest of eternity Toni.” She proposed as tears feel down her cheeks. Cheryl looked up at Toni as she held the open box in her hand could help but smile from cheek to cheek. Toni had her hands covering her mouth as she sobbed quietly and nodded her had numerous times._

_Toni reached down and wrapped her hands around Cheryl’s neck, practically falling into her lap and causing them both to tumble to the ground. They let out soft laughs as Toni cupped Cheryl’s face and kissed her deeply, her tongue pushing past the barrier of plump pink lips. Their tongue battling and teeth scrapping together. Cheryl slightly pulled back and inhaled softly. “I love you so much TT, you are my sunshine.”_

_Toni smiled as a tear escaped her eye. “You’re always calling me that. I love you too.” She said as Cheryl slipped the ring on her finger._

“I’m so sorry, Mrs and Mrs.Topaz. The cancer is going to keep spreading, and it’s going to spread very rapidly.” The doctor spoke as if he had failed them both. 

“H-how? Why? N-no this ca-” Toni said gripping her wife’s hand as they sat on the other side of the office desk. Toni began to feel her eyes welling up with tears. This couldn’t be happening, it couldn’t be. 

“You have four months at the most Mrs.Topaz, value it, and begin to prepare.” The doctor noted and then left the room so the two could have a moment. 

Toni heard the door shut and began to feel short of breath. She clenched her chest with her hand and looked at Cheryl and shook her head as tears streamed down her face. A dreadful sob broke from Toni’s chest as she could no longer hold it in, and she cried. She cried so more than she had ever cried in her life. 

“TT.” Cheryl said as she stood up and moved to sit in Toni’s lap. She cradled her head and kissed her forehead softly as Toni did many times to her. “TT, it’s-“ Cheryl said as she gathered her thoughts. “We have to deal with it.” She spoke softly and ran her fingers through the pink streaks of her wife’s hair.

“I’m so sorry Cher.” Toni choked out. “I’m so sorry.”

Cheryl seemed a bit taken a back. “TT, you have nothing-“

“No Cher, I’m sorry, I’m sorry that I’m the one crying when I’m supposed to be strong, I’m supposed to be strong from you Cher and I don’t know much strength I have left, you’re the one going through this and I’m crying, I shouldn’t be crying!” Toni spoke a little louder than attended as tears flooded her cheek. She felt as though she was on the verge of a panic attack. 

“Antoinette Cecil Topaz.” Cheryl said as she cupped Toni’s face and looked into her eyes. Every time Cheryl looked into her wife’s eyes it felt as though she was looking into the night sky. She shook her head softly. “ TT, I’m dying. I don’t want to die Toni, I don’t want to leave but I am and there is no way to stop it.” Cheryl spoke, this time a tear running down her cheek. “I have four months left TT.”

“Oh Cheryl, I wish I had a hundred years to give you.” Toni sniffed

They didn’t get a hundred years, but they spent those four months on love. They went to places they’ve never been, did things they never thought they would do and the last month, they spent it with each other, they made love, cuddle by the fire place with layered in velvet sheets. Those four months were filled with numerous good days, but that’s the thing about good days, you don’t know when your last good day will be. 

The night of September 8th 2024 was the worst night of Toni life. Cheryl’s was rushed to the hospital and they both knew what was coming. 

Toni called Sweet Pea and Fangs because she didn’t know what else to do. She paced around the hospital waiting room waiting for the inevitable. 

“Tiny, why don’t you just-“ 

Toni cut Sweet Pea off. “Why don’t I what Pea? Why don’t I sit down? Do something to take my mind off it? My WIFE sweet pea,” Toni spoke louder gaining attention from other waiting patrons. “My WIFE sweet pea is somewhere back there DYING, do you understand that?” Toni said as through her hands up in the air and felt her knees began to go weak. Tears streamed down her face.

“Yo, Toni, we know-“ Fangs said as he stood up, putting his hand on Toni’s back

“No, Fangs you don’t know! You don’t know how I am feeling, what I’m going though or how much this is tearing me up in side, Okay?” She screamed as she fell to her knees and let her tear free. Her body was shaking, and she felt as though her throat was closing. 

She felt her heart breaking. 

“My wife is dying.” She cried softly and shook her head as she felt the strong arms of her friends wrap around her, consoling her. 

“My wife is dying.”

Later that night they were finally able to see Cheryl for her last few moments. Toni slowly walked into the room with puffed red eyes as her friends waited for her outside, preparing herself when the truth was no one could ever be prepared for something like this. You’re never ready for something like this.

Toni climbed into the bed and held her Cheryl, never wanting to let go. 

Toni held Cheryl for the last few hours they had reminiscing on memories should would cherish for as long as long as she would live. 

“Oh yeah, and you called me queen of the buskers.” Toni chuckled softly as she stroked red hair. She looked down as Cheryl smiled and weakly nodded. “Oh, yeah.” Cheryl spoke softly as her breaths began to shorten. “I never did apologize for that.” She said as she took Toni’s free hands in hers and gripped it with the best of her might. “Toni, I’m so tired.” She spoke barley above a whisper.

“Cher,” Toni said as she shook her head. “Cher please, you can’t leave me Cher, you can’t.” Toni pleaded knowing they would be no good. “Cher please, I can’t do this without you, baby I cannot be in a world without you in it.” Toni cried softly as she cupped Cheryl’s cheek and rubbed the pad of her thumb across it softly. Cheryl was fighting to breath as the machine she was hooked up to began to beep more rapidly. She brought one her hands slowly to her lover’s face and brought her down for a soft weak kiss. “I love you Antoinette.” Cheryl whispered against Toni lips. “Continue to fill the world with light.” She said with her last breath.

Her eyes closed never to reopen, the machine flatlined and the sound that came out of Toni was unearthly. It sounds as though someone had ripped everything she had out of her. She cried, she wept, she bawled. It felt as though everything under the sun came crashing down right on top of her. 

Sweet pea came into the room hours later with fangs. Fangs speaking soothing words as sweet pea pried a thrashing Toni away from the body of her wife. 

Toni felt as though she weighed hundreds of pounds. 

Speaking at Cheryl’s funeral was one of the hardest days of Toni’s life not as hard as the day her wife left, but it was a close second. 

Toni stood up in front everyone that’s ever-loved Cheryl. Everyone was in attendance. 

“Cheryl, she had this thing where she always compared to me the sun, she always compared me to the light, called me the light of her life.” Toni spoke, smiling sadly as she dawned on the memory. “What Cheryl didn’t know was that, it wasn’t me who was the sun, it was her. Cheryl was the light of my life.” Toni said as she choked softly. “She was the light of my life and the Sun will never shine as bright as it did when she was here. There will never be a brighter light than the one that was inside of her. A lot of people thought Cheryl was a loveless… a loveless monster, once upon a time Cheryl thought so to but I saw her. I saw her when nobody else did. I loved her when no one else wanted to because I saw her. I saw Cheryl Marjorie Blossom-Topaz” Toni cried as her knees wobbled, fangs walked up to the podium and helped her off the stage. The ceremony was beautiful, filled with red roses. Exactly how Cheryl would have wanted.

The first year after Cheryl died, Toni visited her Grave every day with a fresh flower to add to the pile. Not a day went on where she didn’t think about Cheryl and cry. Not a day went by where she didn’t feel the hole in her heart. 

After the first year she visited on their anniversary, both of their birthdays, and any other special day. The visits became less often Although Toni could still feel the hole in her heart, she couldn’t feel the pain as much. 

Years went by and Toni slowly began to move on with her life, like Cheryl would have wanted her too. She began dating, even though she knew she would never love anyone the way she loved Cheryl. She went back to school to become a teacher, even though she didn’t think it was possible, she began to live again. 

It was the 8-year anniversary of that day. 

The day Toni’s world crumbled. 

Toni left out a soft breath in the cool September air and walked slowly across the grass with a bouquet of red roses in hand. 

“Hey Cher, I know it’s been a while.” Toni kneeled in front of the grave and set down the red roses. She smiles softly and ran her fingers through the grass that set above her first true love. “It’s not a good excuse but I’ve been busy Cher, I been doing all the things I know you would have wanted me to.” Toni said breathily as she places her arms on top of the grave and laid her forehead down on top it. “I miss you so much Cher, every day I miss you.” Toni sniffled softly and quickly wiped her eyes. “No water works this time.” 

“I shined on like you wanted me to, it took me a while, but I did Cher, I had to find the light after you left. I had to fill the hole in my heart with light, the light you gave me and the night you left Cher, I never said it back but I do, I do love you too Cher, and I always will."

Toni turned her head as she heard little footsteps patter towards her. “Mama! I wanna talk! You said I gotta’ talk to you frien’.”

“Marjorie-Rose Topaz, I told you to wait for me.” A woman with blonde hair her spoke as she chased after the little dark-haired girl. The women looked at Toni and shook her head. “I’m sorry babe, she’s hardheaded, like you.” The women smiled softly. 

Toni chuckled softly and smiled. She Grabbed the little girl and kissed her she chunky cheeks as many times as she could. She looked at the women with the long hair. “It’s Okay Ash, It’s about time you all meet.”

Toni smiled and ran her fingers over the grass once more. “Cher, this is my Daughter Marjorie-Rose, and My wife, Ashley.” She smiled softly and looked up at the sun. 

“Still not as bright.” She whispered softly to herself and then looked at her wife and child. Smiling as wide as her cheeks would let her.

**Author's Note:**

> HEEEEEY GUYS!!  
> I hope you liked it.  
> Let me know if you want more or anything?  
> I'll take some prompts.


End file.
